What to Expect When You Bring Your Child to Play Therapy

If you're reading this, you've likely made the brave decision to seek support for your child. Maybe you've noticed they're struggling with big emotions, navigating a difficult transition, or simply need some extra support. You want to help them, and you're wondering what happens when you walk through our door. That's exactly what we're here to talk about today.

Play is How Children Talk

Here's something that might shift your perspective: when adults go to therapy, we sit on a couch and talk. We process our experiences, emotions, and struggles through words. Children don't have that same cognitive capacity yet—their brains are still developing the language centers and abstract thinking skills needed for traditional talk therapy.

But children do have a language. It's called play.

When your child enters the playroom, they're not just "having fun" (though we hope they do feel safe and engaged). They're communicating. They're processing. They're working through the very things that brought you to therapy in the first place. The sandbox, the art supplies, the dollhouse, the dress-up clothes—these are their words.

The play therapist is trained to be there to witness, understand, and gently guide that process.

Preparing Your Child: A Visual Tool to Help

One of the most common questions parents ask is, "How do I explain play therapy to my child?" Children often feel anxious about new experiences, especially when they don't understand what's going to happen. That's why we created a simple visual guide that speaks directly to children in language they can understand.

The infographic answers the questions children naturally have: Who will I meet? Where will I go? What will I do? It reassures them that they'll meet a safe person, go to a room with lots of toys where they can choose what to do, and learn important skills like expressing feelings, calming their body, problem-solving, making friends, staying safe, using their strengths, and being brave. Most importantly, it lets them know that sometimes their parents will talk to their "special person," so everyone knows how to help them.

You can use this image to walk through what play therapy will be like before your first visit. Let your child ask questions. Reassure them that the playroom is their space and that their therapist is there just for them. 

This simple conversation can ease anxiety and help your child feel more prepared and empowered as they begin their therapeutic journey.

What the First Sessions Look Like

Before your child ever enters the playroom, we'll meet with you for an intake session. This is where we'll ask questions about your child's early development, current functioning, and what's bringing you to therapy. This information forms the foundation of our understanding and our treatment approach, so we encourage you to be as open and honest as possible. We'll also meet separately with your child to hear their perspective and ensure they feel engaged in the process from the very beginning.

Play therapy is considered Evidence-Based by the SAMHSA as therapeutically appropriate for children 2-12 years of age, particularly for depression, anxiety, ADHD, autism & trauma. Sessions typically last 30-50 minutes and are scheduled weekly.

Research suggests that it takes an average of 20 play therapy sessions to resolve the problems of a typical child, though some children improve faster, while more complex issues may take longer. 

The Seven Stages of Play Therapy

Understanding the stages of play therapy can help you recognize where your child is in the process and what to expect along the way. Think of these stages as a road map—not every child moves through them at the same pace, and some may revisit earlier stages before moving forward. That's completely normal. Here's what each stage looks like and what you might notice as a parent (adapted from Landreth, 2023).

Stage 1: Introduction – "Getting Comfortable" Your child is learning the therapist, the room, and what to expect. This initial stage is all about acclimation. The playroom is new, the therapist is unfamiliar, and your child is trying to figure out if this space is safe. You may notice hesitation, shyness, or a slow warm-up period. Some children dive right in, while others need several sessions to feel comfortable enough to engage. This is the foundation stage—it may not look like "therapy" yet, but critical groundwork is being laid.

Stage 2: Building Trust – "This feels safe." Trust begins to build, and sessions feel more familiar. Your child is starting to relax in the playroom. They're learning the therapist's rhythms, understanding the limits and boundaries, and beginning to trust that this person and this space are predictable and safe. You may notice easier drop-offs and more willingness to attend. They might even talk about their therapist at home or look forward to sessions. This is a sign that the therapeutic relationship is taking root—those marbles are filling the jar.

Stage 3: Limit Testing – "Change is hard. Am I safe?" Trusting and testing to ensure safety in the playroom. Symptoms can temporarily increase. Now that your child feels safer, they often begin to test limits. This is actually a healthy sign—they're asking, "Is this adult really safe? What happens if I push boundaries? Will they still accept me?" This stage can look like resistance, irritability, or even bigger behaviors at home or in session. It's essential to understand: this is a sign that therapy is working. Your child is beginning to express the harder emotions they've been holding, and they need to know the therapist (and you) will remain steady and safe even when things get messy.

Stage 4: Growing – "The work happens here." The most important and often longest phase. This is where the real therapeutic work unfolds. Your child is now comfortable enough to explore difficult emotions, process experiences, and practice new coping skills through play. You may notice breakthroughs, emotional expression, and the development of new problem-solving abilities. But here's what can be challenging for parents: progress is rarely linear. You'll see growth followed by setbacks. Your child might have an amazing week, only to suddenly regress. This back-and-forth is completely normal—it's how learning and integration happen. Celebrate the breakthroughs and stay steady through the setbacks.

Stage 5: Integration – "Skills show up in real life." Growth starts to generalize at home, school, and in relationships. This is when you start seeing the fruits of your child's work in the playroom translate into their everyday life. Skills they've practiced in therapy—emotion regulation, flexibility, connection, and problem-solving—begin to show up at home, at school, and with friends. You may notice more flexibility in their responses, better recovery after emotional moments, improved emotion regulation, and stronger connections with others. This stage is deeply rewarding because you're witnessing your child apply what they've learned in real-world contexts.

Stage 6: Termination – "Preparing for graduation." The ending can bring mixed feelings—even when therapy is successful. This final stage involves saying goodbye to the therapeutic relationship, which can be surprisingly difficult for children. Even though your child is doing well, they may experience clinginess, worry, or even a temporary regression as they face this transition. Remember: they came to therapy during a hard time, built a trusting relationship with someone who helped them heal, and now they're being told it's time to end that relationship. You may notice mixed emotions, some anxiety about the ending, or brief returns of old behaviors. Your confidence in their ability to maintain their gains—and your reassurance that ending therapy is a celebration of their growth—will help them navigate this transition with resilience.

Stage 7: Repair & Celebration – "I can do hard things." Confidence and stability increase, and progress becomes lasting. By this stage, your child has internalized the therapeutic gains. They're demonstrating resilience, using their coping skills more consistently, and showing genuine confidence in their ability to handle challenges. You may notice pride in their accomplishments, calmer daily routines, and more overall resilience. The therapist and your child will begin preparing for the transition out of regular therapy, celebrating the work they've done together and the growth that's occurred. This can include working through the rupture of termination in the last session with repair and celebration.

Building Trust Takes Time (And That's a Good Thing)

One of the most important things to understand about play therapy is that meaningful change doesn't happen overnight. It happens through relationship—through the slow, steady building of trust between your child and their therapist in the playroom.

Think about it this way: we would never want your child to walk into a room with a stranger and immediately share their deepest fears, their most shameful moments, or the traumatic things that have happened to them. That wouldn't be safe. In fact, teaching children to open up to random adults about vulnerable experiences could actually put them at risk.

Instead, we're creating a safe, predictable, attuned relationship where your child learns, over time, that this adult can be trusted. That this space is theirs. That they have agency and autonomy here. That their feelings matter and their experiences are valid.

This takes time—usually several sessions—and that's exactly as it should be. 

Trust is built one small moment at a time, like marbles filling a jar. Each session adds another marble. 

Eventually, when the jar is full enough, your child will naturally begin to share more deeply, work through harder emotions, and make meaningful changes.

Your Child's Confidentiality Matters

Here's where things might feel a little different from what you expected: what happens in the playroom stays in the playroom (with important exceptions for safety, of course).

This confidentiality isn't about keeping secrets from you. It's about giving your child a space that is entirely theirs—where they can express themselves freely, explore difficult emotions, and know that their thoughts and feelings won't be shared unless it's necessary for their safety or well-being.

So when your child emerges from a session, and you're dying to know what happened, resist the urge to ask, "What did you do in there today?" or "Did you have fun?" or  even before we make it to the playroom, you may state, "Make sure you tell your therapist about what happened at school!"

These questions, though well-intentioned, actually undermine the therapeutic process. They put pressure on your child to perform or report, and they blur the boundaries of that safe, confidential space we've worked so hard to create.

Instead, you might simply say, "I'm glad you went to therapy today," or "Your body looks relaxed now," “It looks like you did some work in therapy today,” “Looks like you are ready to go eat, get back to school, or go see grandma.” Stating what is happening next often helps make the transition out of the playroom smoother. The clinician will often state as well, "see next Tuesday," confirming for the child that sessions are predictable and expected to continue. Following through by attending sessions regularly demonstrates to your child that their healing matters, and it's essential to the success of therapy.

If your child wants to share about their play session, they will. If they don't, that's okay too. 

Respecting Your Child in the Waiting Room (& Everywhere Else)

This might seem small, but it matters more than you think: please don't talk about your child in front of them as if they're not there.

Whether you're in our waiting room or at home, speaking about your child's struggles, behaviors, or challenges while they're standing right there sends a powerful message: that their presence doesn't matter, that their stories are not their own, that you control who they are, and that adults can discuss them as if they're objects rather than human beings with feelings and dignity.

Children hear everything. Even when they seem distracted or tuned out, they're still absorbing how we talk about them. When we speak negatively about them in their presence—or worse, to other adults in public spaces—we're eroding their sense of self-worth and adding shame to whatever they're already struggling with.

If you need to share important information about your child with the therapist, that's what parent sessions are for, or the weekly check-in forms available on the EHR or in the waiting room. 

Which brings us to...

Parent Sessions: Your Window into the Process

Every 3-4 sessions, your child's therapist will schedule a parent-only session with you. These meetings are essential—and research shows that when parents are actively involved in their child's treatment, positive outcomes are significantly greater.

During parent sessions, your therapist will:

• Share insights about your child's progress

• Provide psychoeducation about what they're observing

• Offer strategies and tools you can use at home, specific to your child

• Answer your questions about the therapeutic process

• Collaborate with you as the expert on your child

• Help you understand which phase your child is in and what to expect

The therapist will also rely on you to report any changes—good or bad—as they arise. Depending on your child's needs, the therapist may ask you or other family members to participate directly in some sessions. This can be a powerful way for everyone to work together to ensure your child is getting the most out of treatment.

These sessions are where you get to be the curious, engaged partner in your child's healing. They're where the therapist can explain what they're noticing in the play, what it might mean developmentally, and how you can support your child's growth outside of the therapy room.

This collaborative approach is rooted in neuroscience and child development. When therapy and home life are aligned—when the safe, attuned relationship your child experiences in the playroom is mirrored by your responsive, curious presence at home—that's when the real magic happens.

Autonomy and Agency: The Neuroscience of Healing

Here's what makes child-centered play therapy so powerful: it aligns with how children's brains actually develop and heal.

When we honor a child's autonomy in the playroom—letting them choose what to play with, how to engage, and what to explore—we're not just being nice. We're working with their nervous system. We're helping them experience a sense of control and agency that may have been disrupted by whatever brought them to therapy.

Research in interpersonal neurobiology shows us that healing happens in the context of safe, attuned relationships. When a child feels seen, heard, and valued—when they experience predictable, responsive care from a trusted adult—their nervous system begins to regulate. 

• Their stress response calms. 

• Their capacity for learning, connection, and emotional regulation increases.

• This is why we don't rush the process. 

• This is why we build relationship first. 

• This is why we honor their choices and follow their lead in play.

  
  

  We're literally helping their brain create new neural pathways—pathways of safety, connection, and resilience.

What You Can Do to Support the Process

As a parent, you're not just dropping your child off for therapy. You're an active, essential part of their healing journey. Here's how you can support them:

Protect the therapeutic space. Resist questioning them about sessions. Trust the process and the confidentiality.

Show up for parent sessions. These meetings are where collaboration happens and where you gain insight into your child's inner world. Your active involvement makes the therapy more effective.

Honor their dignity. Never talk about them in front of them. Speak with the same respect you'd want for yourself.

Be patient with the timeline. Trust takes time. Healing takes time. Plan for an average of 20 sessions, and understand that your child's journey may be shorter or longer.

Expect regressions—they're normal. During the Growing phase, especially, your child will make progress and then slip backward. This isn't failure—it's part of learning and integration. Celebrate the advances and don't panic about the temporary setbacks.

Provide extra support during difficult phases. The Negative Reaction phase and Termination phase can be particularly challenging. Your steady, confident presence helps your child navigate these transitions.

Work on your own regulation. When you feel calm and grounded, your child's nervous system responds. Your co-regulation is one of the most powerful tools for their healing. Consider taking our Child-Parent Relationship Training, offered year-round at Olympia Therapy. (CPRT is where you learn the same skills and methods we as play therapists use in session with your child- they teach you how to be the agents of change for your own child).

Please refrain from requesting your child's therapy notes. If another provider needs information, we'll provide a treatment summary with the essential details. Experience has shown us that children always find out when their notes have been released—and when they do, it breaks the trust that's so carefully built in the playroom. This doesn't just affect their current therapy; it can impact their willingness to be open and vulnerable in any future therapeutic relationship. This is especially true around legal matters. 

The Journey Ahead

Bringing your child to play therapy is an act of love and courage. You're acknowledging that your child is struggling, and you're seeking professional support to help them thrive. That takes strength.

The journey won't always be linear. There may be weeks where progress feels slow or even nonexistent. There may be phases where things seem to get worse before they get better.

Trust that in that playroom, small, profound things are happening. Marbles are being added to the jar of trust. Neural pathways are being formed. Emotional regulation is being practiced. Connection is being experienced.

And session by session, phase by phase, through relationship and play, your child is learning that they matter. That they're capable. That they're worthy of care. And that healing is possible.

After all, you are the most important person in your child's life, and no amount of play therapy can ever replace the support and guidance you provide.

Together—therapist, child, and family—we can create lasting change.

That's the power of play therapy. 

That's the gift you're giving your child.

If you have questions about play therapy or would like to schedule an intake, please contact us at info@olympiatherapy.com or use this link to join the waitlist. We're here to walk alongside you and your family.

To get a handout all about Play Therapy Here