Thriving (not just surviving) During the Holidays

The holidays are upon us, and you know what that means…plenty of joy, and plenty of stress.

While the holidays can highlight many things to be grateful for, they also present adults with a lot to do, a lot to prepare, and the potential for a lot of time with family, the latter of which in itself can be a mixed bag of joy and stress.  In short, the holiday season can be complicated, stressful, and full of all kinds of feelings!  

Given the increased demands of the

season, how do we stay regulated and open to joy?

• Practice Gratitude

  
  

‘Tis the season, after all! Promoting gratitude as a stress-reduction tool as we head towards Thanksgiving may sound trite, and many studies have demonstrated that practicing gratitude supports mental, emotional, physical, and social well-being.  Intentionally identifying things that are going well and that we are grateful for can shift our mindsets and our moods, reduce stress, improve sleep and interpersonal interactions, and over time, can even train our brains to look for moments of gratitude.  

This does not mean dismissing your stress or difficult feelings/experiences. Rather, it means also taking time to find the good. If you find yourself buried in the demands of the season, validate any feelings that come up, and also take a moment to reflect on what you are grateful for.  The benefits may surprise you.

• Listen to Your Body

Are you out of energy?  Does your entire body turn to stone and you feel dragged down by the weight of it when you think about the possibility of traveling for the holidays?  Do you get heartburn every time you think about trying to do ALL the things you hope to do for the holiday season?  Listen to that!  Our bodies hold all kinds of wisdom.  They may be telling us we need to rest, or consider alternative plans, or simplify our expectations.  Listening to your body helps you identify your needs, and then you can plan ways to meet those needs.

• Set Boundaries

Boundaries, boundaries, boundaries.  If there is one way to keep your sanity over the holidays (or any time, really), it’s knowing your limits and acting accordingly.  It’s ok to say “no,” whether it’s to a family member, a child, an obligation, or even your own expectations for the season.  Keeping the holidays simple has never hurt anyone, as far as we know.  Assess your bandwidth and arrange your life accordingly. Saying “No” in one place allows you to say “yes” in others–decide what you want your “yes” to be.

• Ask for Help

Truthfully, listening to your body, setting boundaries, and asking for help all go together in some ways.  Identifying your body’s needs helps you to know which boundaries to set, and knowing your boundaries may help you identify when you need help.  Be empowered to ask for help from others when you need it.  During the holidays, this could look like asking for guests to bring additional dishes to Thanksgiving dinner, asking a spouse or partner or friend to help with cleaning or cooking for the holidays, or letting others know when you need help putting together gifts or decorations or packing for travel, and so on.  These are just some examples of possible needs; taking the time to identify your own specific needs will help you define what kind of help to ask for in any given moment.

• Flexibility is Also Important

Allowing our boundaries to shift as our needs shift is also important.  While you may need to say no to something one day, you may find that it works for you to say yes on another.  Recognizing your own bandwidth and needs in any given moment by listening to your body and practicing mindfulness will help you navigate your boundaries and flexibility in a way that serves you. Being able to adapt to the changing needs of your own self, your family, and your obligations can be helpful as you navigate the demands of the holidays.  

• Take Time for You

Finally, don’t forget to rest and make sure you are meeting your own social and recreational needs.  Boundaries can be helpful here; you may need to say “no” to something else so that you can say “yes” to rest or to otherwise meet your own needs.

While the holidays can be stressful, they can also offer plenty of joy.  May you find those joyful moments throughout the season.  And as always, if you need extra help coping during the holidays, we are here to support you! 

By Katrina Swenson