What's Up With Seven?

Have you met Seven? Seven can be a challenge to some parents as they see increased understanding and connections being made in a child's world. Seven is a child who is highly observant about the world around them. They often notice details that were previously overlooked. Seven can feel big emotions, but has more control over them. They have anxiety about things out of their control and can strive for perfection. If you know Seven, you know that they can appear withdrawn and broody. Sometimes you may feel like something is wrong, but much of what is going on is normal with Seven!

Seven has a better understanding of themselves as individuals, separate from other people. They may highlight the experiences of their peers and siblings as evidence that the the world is stacked against them. Seven is very concerned with fairness; he may focus a lot of his attention on the injustices of his day. He will complain about how so-and-so is always called on in class and how his sister gets more attention from mom. Seven begins to formulate their personal identity. Seven may start to align more with their same-sex parent as they develop an understanding of gender in relation to the physical differences of boys and girls. Following the lead of their same-sex parent helps.

In an effort to sort out their own sense of self, Seven is likely to turn inward and be more withdrawn and quiet. Feelings are internalized more now, where before they had been released as external bursts of energy (think about Four, Five, and Six). Seven is prone to large shifts in mood and cries more easily, and she feels more embarrassed about it more than in previous years. Seven is sensitive, they can interpret bad experiences as rejection or personal failure, and take it extra hard because they value their relationships with other people. Seven is more likely to withdraw when conflict arises with their peers and siblings. They are less argumentative with their parents and caregivers, although their moodiness is often directed towards these caregivers. Parents can often wonder "What happened to my sweet Six?" Seven may put blame on others and has a hard time owning up to their mistakes. They don’t want to admit to their wrongdoings despite noticing those of others.

It is important to Seven that the people in his life are happy, particularly his family. Seven might not like to help with household tasks, but doing so will help boost his self-esteem and feelings of significance in the family. So long as pressure is not put on them to perform the task perfectly. You can encourage Seven to help you with chores by giving them three-step instructions, which will help keep them engaged and focused.